On the Road Again!! Dancing with Susan...

The Dance of Relationships is never ending! We all have ENERGY and we all like to have FUN!! Just thought this was a cute way to remind you all of this. What are you doing to dance your way through life?? Hope it is summer fun...safe travel, lots of enjoying nature, and just spending time hanging out with friends. I am off to Albany, NY to spend a few days with my dear friend/colleague Susan Perkins. We are planning to do lots of fun stuff - walks, concerts, and also talk about the layout for the SHOE book!! What?? You haven't heard about it yet?? It's in the works...all about the journey to self discovery and self acceptance as we dance our way through life and relationship building. The fun part will be that the main character is a PAIR OF SHOES and her journey/adventures to learn about herself through relationship buildling!!
Friend Amanda from New Zealand says it needs to be small enough to fit in the purse so that when you are out and about and need a reminder ...just pull out the book and have a look!! More to come when I get back from this adventure on the journey of life. Tah Tah for now!!

He Got It!! Jammin' Together

Perry and Bill Learning and Sharing!!
On a warm Saturday in late June, Bill and I went to the South Shores Music festival at the Cumberland county, NJ, fairgrounds. Since Bill loves his music and has been learning to play the harmonica, he put some of them in his backpack to take along. Since he's not one to play in front of others, he knew he could find a quiet place off to a side and just play along. Today was different!! The fourth group to come on - Home Made JamZ - was incredible. There was Papa Perry (in the pictures above and playing the harmonica), Ryan (16) on the guitar, Kyle (13) on the bass and Taya (9!!!) on the drums. They are billed as the youngest blues band, have made CDs and are on tour. Talking to their Dad, Perry, and their Mom, Trish, is a blessing. They are home schooling the three and just give them guidance and allow them to BE! It shows - and Trish says they are also "typical" siblings, squabbling as they travel to concert dates.
Back to Bill....he was standing with Perry and a few others when I came over and started talking too. I shared that Bill played the "harp" and before I knew it, Perry had lifted the fence to the performers area and he and Bill spent half an hour talking and playing and sharing. Bill wanted to know how to "bend" the notes, and with practice and Perry's watching and guiding, well, HE GOT IT!! You can see the look on both of their faces. So proud and excited!
Later, sitting at a picnic table, Bill took out his harmonica and played along with the music. Another musician was standing nearby and came over to tell Bill how good his playing sounded! What an amazing day - what a day full of kindness and affirmations. What a reinforcement about the goodness of people!
Reach out...share...talk...listen...and you just don't know what stories and lessons will come your way.

Meet Taya Perry: 9 and an Incredible Drummer!!

Lazy Hazy Days of Summer!! Be JOYFUL!!

What an incredible view! Recently I was in Woodstown,NJ to meet friend for lunch at Beans Coffee Shop - a treat in itself! Since the day was spectacular, I decided to arrive early and just sit outside and see...reflect on life, the gifts we are given, and just the simplicity and beauty of it all. Today was a JOY. Beans had several tables and brightly colored umbrellas out front. I sat and watched the clouds, the people and everything all around me. I didn't want to miss a single gift I was receiving!! Rather than just looking out and about, somehow I had the thought to look UP. WOW. The rainbow of colors and designs from the umbrella - looking at it from underneath rather than straight on from afar was eye popping! It just made me want to get up and dance!! No, I restrained myself. Then I turned and looked at the reflections in the windows...all of the little squares with circles within. The guy without the shirt...just staying cool in the summer heat. Then I looked across the street to the local grocery/newstand and saw the person I decided to call the "unofficial mayor of Woodstown". He had on the coolest blue and white "dancing" shoes and I watched as he greeted everyone who passed by. I found out that he is often there and is known and knows everyone!! What a spirit of life. The final joy of the moment - of course, before JoAnne arrived - was to look on the table and see the reflections in my sunglasses. Too cool!! Since I have been so engaged in photography, I have become much more aware of colors, true, but even more, I am aware of how many reflections there are everywhere. It gives me pause - has slowed me down, and allows me to reflect on life in all of its glory.
Do you take the time to stop, be still and reflect!?! It is a gift we are all given if we just open the box of the "precious present" and accept. Try it...somehow it fits with the slower days of summer.

Eyes: Windows of the Soul

When I first meeet a person, it is his or her eyes that stand out to me. Do you notice these? I can tell so much:

• I can see an essence that describes what is going on inside...
• I can see if this is an open and communicative person who looks you right in the eye...
• I can see if this is a person to be trusted...
• I can see joy or sadness...
• I can see a sense of confidence...or not
• I can sense a willingness ...
• I can meet a new friend...

The assignment in the photography class was a portrait with natural light. Once I saw Beth's eyes - the top left picture in the collage, I had a focus for myself for the evening. Being the individual that I am, I followed my path and looked into the eyes of those in the group.

What do you see? Do you look at people's eyes? Can you learn from what you see? If you never have, try it. It can be pretty amazing.

Right Brained Curiosity to CREATE!!

What do I have here? What do I see? What can I do with this? And what else can I do with it? It is amazing...ALL of the POSSIBILITIES that I see!! We always talk about learning taking place every day in every way. I watched Bob as he was thinking about taking a picture...thinking of all of the possibilities of the camera, the light, the subject and whatever else might come to his "right brained" mind. It was a fascinating study as I could just about see his mind in operation.
Bob and I talk a lot about the TAO of photography...the zen of being...and just BEING in the present moment. Everyone would do well to begin this practice - just sit, look, listen, and well, take pictures without a camera. This way they are imprinted in your heart and will always be present for you.
Recently I discovered a photographer in Los Angeles who takes pictures of the homeless and shares their stories with folks who sign on to www.flickr.com. Why I write about this. To me, Paul shows once again how the Dance of Relationships is everywhere. He has through his unique style, developed a TRUST with people who allow him to photograph them and share their lives. I am not there to see exactly what he does, but my guess is that he offers them RESPECT, attention and affirmation of their worth to him.
It only takes a second to acknowledge another, offer a smile or a kind word...and never know how you might have made them feel.
DARE to AFFIRM and have a wonderful week - for yourself and for those whose lives you touch.

Dancing Their Way Through LIFE...One Step at a Time

What are they doing?? What is the meaning of all of this? What do I see and why do I share this?? SHOES...from the first spark - the orange and pink laces in New Brunswick, Canada 4 years ago, I have been noticing and photographing the shoes that others CHOOSE to wear - and yes, we have choices ...usually. This past weekend, while at the Pitman Craft Show, I took close to 200 more views of people's feet. It is NOT the shoes, but the stories and the conversations that I have that are a big part of my reason for doing this. NO ONE (well, one guy last week in a coffee shop) has refused my request. See, I start out with AFFIRMING them..."You have great shoes. Can I take a picture of them to add to my collection?" I share with them that I am writing a book about shoes...how the shoes are in some ways a metaphor for life (thanks Bob!!) and also how they allow us to express our uniqueness and our diversity!! Same...yet different. It is how we all our...we are human beings and then unique individuals. We vary in physical appearance, behaviors, temperaments and the "baggage" and history that we bring to any relationship. See, it IS all a dance. Sometimes we trip over our own feet trying to dance. Sometimes we flow gracefully around the floor, often with a partner...or not. It is WONDERFUL!!
Now I have taken some of the shoe pictures and made them into cards. When I take a picture, I now have an AFFIRMATION CARD to give to people to say THANKS and to share that I have "caught thems doing something right."
People are responding to our workshop topics and asking us to facilitate sessions for them, the shoe collection is growing, and through Flickr.com and my friends there, I learn to value and appreciate affirmations I receive and those I can share with others.
See, all over the world, IT IS A DANCE!! Put on your shoes and get going. Then write and tell us how catchthemright@aol.com

Painting Our World...One Stroke at a Time!!

Today I met Heather and Patti , "COLOR ME HAPPY" face painters, at the Pitman,NJ craft show. I want to share with you what FUN we had getting to know one another!! It all started out as I was watching Heather paint the design on Patti's face) and Patti asked me to take a few pictures with her camera for them. I said, "Of course, and then can I take some for me too?"Being my usual self, I watched...waited and saw what they were doing before I took any action. Then I saw their total joy at what they were doing - their friendship with each other, and their eager anticipation for what the day would bring - and the gifts they would offer others. Wonderful!! I had taken a few pictures and...along came Joe!! Well, let me tell you, Joe was eager to share that he was a "photographer" and had just spent a LOT of $$ for his new Nikon single lens reflex camera. OK for him...not necessary for me. Personally I take my best pictures with a Fuji FinePix 31fd. It's what is called a "point and shoot" camera and it is always with me since it fits right in my pocket!! Joe took one picture of them and gave them his email/website if they wanted the picture. Then he was off. I spent about 20 minutes with them and took about 20 pictures!! Why do I tell you this story? It is so "out there" in the world. People are interested in who they are, what they have and what they are doing. Nothing else. For me, it is a different approach and for me, as you who read this know, it is about AFFIRMING, NURTURING and "catching them doing something right". I went to the craft show today with an open mind thinking of who I would meet, what I would see, new friends I would gather, and stories I would have to tell. Patti and Heather, well, Joe too, were all part of today. Besides that, I saw incredible shoe pictures and brought home more than 200 more for the collection. Have I shared that we are developing the idea for a book - or maybe more than one about Unity and Diversity using shoe photos?? Well...now I have. We are going to post some of the shoe pictures on the web-site and asking all of you to send us your shoe pictures that tell us about YOU. How do your shoes show that YOU are a UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL??? Let us hear from you...and thanks. catchthemright@aol.com See ya again real soon!!
ps...want them to come to your party or event?? colormehappyface@hotmail.com

Stopping to SEE...Reflect and Relate

The Perfection of Imperfection...

I have been spending a lot of time with photography and reflecting on the connections between it and DARE to AFFIRM. What I realize is that when I am just still and appreciative as I observe nature, I see and feel the energy of what is around me without trying at all to judge or have preconceived notions. When this happens, life flows smoothly and I feel at peace. When I am unsettled, I try to "shoot" the perfect picture and end up with nothing I am satisfied with. The other morning, I visited our garden...just so see and receive. This rose bush showed me its beauty in all of its colors and stages of being. There was perfection in the imperfection. Every part of the plant was unique, just like we all are as individuals. Even the thorns, the tight buds and the bugs, were a part of nature's plan that showed itself to me. It had strengths and challenges.

Later in the morning, I thought about facilitating classes and workshops and even back to the times when I was a classroom teacher. When I was still and settled, meeting the group with love and an open mind to receive from them, the sessions flowed with loving respect. When I was "uptight", the flow was not the same. I discovered TEACHABLE MOMENT S in all of these lessons from nature. For me. it connected me to who I am, what I see and what I do. I am filled with gratitude.

Do you have similar stories to share with me? catchthemright@aol.com I would love to hear from you.

REMEMBERING MOM...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

This wild violet was growing in our yard and part of my early morning discovery the other day. It revealed itself to me in all of its simplicity and also opened up some memories stored in my heart. These flowers always bloom for Mother's Day and every year I would make a bouquet for Mom of these violets. She loved them. She also loved iris as her favorite flower. She couldn't tell me why but just did. Now as I write this message for Mom, I realize that I have shared the violet picture and am looking out at my garden just filled with iris in bloom. Coincidence? What do you think?? I think NOT. It is the synchronicities of life that are always present for us when we are open and still and pay attention to them.

My greatest Mother's Day gift this year is that Jon will be coming "home" from Japan to spend 12 days in NJ. We will reconnect, store up hugs to last until next time, and just generally hang out and BE together. After all, isn't that a big piece of what relationships are all about!!!?!?!?!? I wish all of our readers a wonderful, peaceful Mother's Day and hope that you take the time to NURTURE AND AFFIRM YOURSELF as much as I hope your family will take the time to NURTURE AND AFFIRM YOU.

Dancing with My Sister...A Gift

As I grow older and wiser, I come to recognize the treasures in my life. They are NOT things, but people and those with whom I dance. These relationships are so present in my heart. One of these special people is my sister Lisa. We are 9 years apart, so growing up, we were somewhat like strangers in each other's lives. When I left for college at 17, she was 8. What did we have in common except the same parents and other family...and growing up at the NJ seashore.
As the years have gone by, I have come to see so many similarities. In some ways, I chuckle and think we could be fraternal twins born 9 years apart!
Can you believe, Mom could not tell who it was on the phone. We sound alike. We also got our love of life, our people skills and a spontaneity and zest for living as a gift from our Dad. Wish he were here to see us and our kids growing so much older and wiser in the past 25 years. We still miss him and his ways.
Why do I write about Lisa today? She shared a story with me last night that is so "DARE to AFFIRMish". She recently spent time with a few other families and one of the moms was not the most nurturing and affirming person with her young teen. Lisa saw this happening, empathized and decided to be positive with the daughter. At one point, the mom said to Lisa, "I know what you are doing!! I am not always positive and you have been that way for my daughter." To me, that was a powerful step that Lisa's behavior was recognized and even valued. Isn't role modeling one of the best ways to subtly guide other people's behaviors - and if we are lucky, even make changes!?!?
It is important to me to affirm my sister and appreciate how much she "gets" DARE to AFFIRM and the values and lessons that are so important to me.
She truly knows how to "catch them doing something right." Thanks Lisa Hope for the gifts you give to me.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. in Many Languages

Saturday at 6:15, I left Pitman to head to a Week of the Young Child Conference in Delaware where we were scheduled to present a training workshop that we called R.E.S.P.E.C.T. It was designed to give pause, think what the word was all about and how to truly practice it for the good of ALL! I was less than 10 minutes from home when I was greeted by a sight that made me stop and pause, filled with gratitude and respect for the beauty of nature and the gift I had been given! I am not usually out and about to see the sunrise, let alone one as spectacular as this. I just knew that the day would be filled with treasures and our hearts were about to be filled with so many new friends. And that it was. Read on.
There are so many "keys" that unlock the treasure chest of RESPECT. One of the fun parts of our training workshops is to create materials that are visual representations of what we are doing - and then engage people in movement and hands on activities as they internalized the concepts.
We started out with quotes about respect, encouraging each of the groups to develop a definition to share what this word meant for self, others and non-people/the environment. The responses were thoughtful. We want to share a few ideas:
1. To be humble, love yourself, and have high self-esteem. As you give it to others, you will receive it back ten fold.
2. Affirming and treating others as you want to be treated.
3. Being honest with yourself and loyal to others.
4. Help all and hinder none!
Then we had so much fun with the "Keys of Respect" exploring together ( and getting a bit rowdy at times) to see which ones opened the treasure chest of respect. We have a list of 30 we created and would be happy to send them to anyone who sends us an email request: catchthemright@aol.com
We ended the session creating a Bill of Respect that the participants created together - what they would take with them as guidelines and reminders for building respectful relationshps.
PREAMBLE: We, the Nation of Nurturers, in order to form a more perfect society, establish respect, ensure harmony & tranquility, provide for common understanding, promote affirmation of self & others, and secure self-worth for all, do create this Bill of Respect.
1. Be an individual and allow it in others.
2. Listen well to yourself and others.
3. Provide equity, fairness & consistent rules for all.
4. Be trusting and trustworthy/loyal.
5. Be still and notice: Watch, Ask and Adapt.
6. Be kind and caring.
7. Respect boundaries.
8. Be truthful.
9. Respect yourself, your community and the environment.
10. Accept responsibility.
This list is in no way final - only what two groups of people on a beautiful Saturday in April created for themselves and others.
They noted that Respect is really the Golden Rule.
We take it one step further: Do unto others what you want others to do unto others.
CATCH THEM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

Connections: Delaware AEYC & Beth Inter

Organization, Responsiveness and Efficiency are the first words to come to mind when one thinks of Beth Inter. Beyond that there is warmth, smiles and caring!! You only have to know and work with Beth for a short time to see all of these characteristics and you count your blessings that she is on your team!! It is easy to "catch her doing something right!!"
Beth is part of the leadership team at the University of Delaware's Early Learning Center and an active member of the Delaware Association for the Education of Young Children (DAEYC)
Why is she so special? Well, you have already read some of the descriptors for Beth, but we want to recognize one of the special projects she has rebirthed for DAEYC. In yesterday's mail, we received the Spring 2008 issue of "Small Wonders", DAEYC's newsletter. Why is this special for early childhood professionals in Delaware? It is a forum for members to contribute their ideas and happenings and a way to become involved in the early care and education life in Delaware. This had been missing in people's mailboxes for awhile and thanks to Beth, it is again coming on a regular basis. It is her energy and commitment that has made this happen, but even more her ability to network with other professionals to make the production a group effort.
Join with Martie, Allison (DARE to AFFIRM) and so many other Delaware early care and education professionals to celebrate the Week of the Young Child on April 19's conference at Delaware Technical & Community College's Terry Campus in Dover.
WE will be dancing to Aretha as we celebrate RESPECT for ourselves and one another.

The Children's Message to the World!

This message says it all - what the world needs NOW and what the children of the Mullica Hill Friends School wish for everyone! Bill and I were out seeking "photo ops" and this one just happened to be right there for us!! Thank you to the children for undertaking this project and sharing it with the world.
As we enter into Spring - the season for new growth and new hopes - as well as the welcoming back of our "old friends" - the spectacular flowers, birds and butterflies, let's open our hearts to the children's message and wish for world peace. Let us allow people to be who they are, believe as they do, and develop more of an understanding and respect for those who are different from them.
We remember Friends School fondly. Our son, Jon, spent some formative years there with many special teachers - Delores, Anne, Margie and Randy. They recognized his strengths and nurtured him as the unique individual that he is. We can be sure that they were partners with Bill and me in developing this truly amazing person. We are grateful!!
As we travel out and about with DARE to AFFIRM, Allison and I are meeting so many of you who exemplify the same nurturing, trust, caring and compassion.
May we wish that you continue your wonderful work and share the message with the world.
Dance in Relaltionships and "CATCH THEM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT"!!

LISTEN!! REALLY LISTEN!!!

The assignment for the photography class was a "Creative Self-Portrait"! What to do? How could I express myself in a way that was different yet showed who I was and what was important to me?? I sat with the camera pointed at me and started shooting. One picture was of my ear wearing a "simple" pair of earrings. Hmmmmmmm. Then the thought came to me from somewhere deep within...why not take more pictures with different earrings?!? For the next minutes or hours...I got lost in time, I did just that and this is what resulted. What does it show about me? For one thing, I find unusual earrings FUN to wear. For another thing, I am learning more and more to be a good listener. No, that is not always an easy thing for me or many others in my life. Did you ever notice how so many people say they are "listening" but truly are only hearing your words and waiting for a quick break in the conversation so they can begin talking about their favorite subject...themselves!! How often have Bill and I gone out to a social gathering and come home knowing lots about many people there and realizing they know little if anything about us?!?
So what does it mean to be a good listener? Here are some of the thoughts I would like to share about that. It is not enough to remain silent while others are talking; this is not listening in any true sense.
1. Focus on the other person - not allowing yourself to be distracted by what is going on around you OR listening to your own thoughts or concerns.
2. Show you are listening by appearing interested, leaning slightly forwrd, nodding occasionally and acknowledging at intervals.
3. Find some aspect of what the person is saying to be genuinely interested in.
4. Make and maintain eye contact - yet break it occasionally so that the other person doesn't feel under the microscope.
5. Subtly mirror the other person - smiling, frown, modding and laughing when they do.
Anyone can hear. It takes brains to listen!
Research has shown that ineffective listening habits present the most common barriers to success in relationships.
Let me mention another word that gets in the way of listening and true understanding. I call it the "A" word and it often gets people into trouble.
Have you ever said, "Well I "A"ssumed that...
then a situation occurs and what you assumed is not true...and every0ne can be embarrassed?!?
I have learned to ask questioins for clarification. I know it sometimes annoys people because it seems like I am "nit picking" , but for me, as I remember something that Stephen Covey said - it is about first understanding before I can be understood. "Let me be clear about what you are saying".
Allison and I have designed a variety of workshops for relationship building with DARE to AFFIRM and relationship building through LISTENING is an important topic to us.
We understand that we are in our own "learning laboratory" as we do this work and practice our dance steps. Sometimes it can be challenging and we are always open to growth!!
Join us on our journey.
HAPPY SPRING!!

Best Friends on an Adventure

The Picture that started it all!!

Best Friends...yet such Individuals!!
Four years ago, Bill and I journeyed out on yet another of our Epic Adventures - this time to the Maritime Provinces of Canada for a month: New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island. At a lobster festival in New Brunswick (I got my picture taken with the lobster king and it was in the local newspaper the next day), I saw a young woman walking toward me with the "coolest" shoes. They were white sneakers BUT the amazing experience was how she expressed her individuality!! The shoe laces were big and bold and different. One was flurescent pink...the other - fluorescent orange! I stopped right where I was and just looked and looked. Then I stopped her and her friend and chatted with them. I told her I found her shoelaces soooooooooo exciting and could I take a picture??!?! She and her friend laughed and said "sure". Little did I know that this picture would start me on yet another kind of epic adventure. Since then, I can't help but notice people's shoes and their styles.
I have come to realize that in one way, everyone is the same because they all wear shoes. Yet, I have also come to realize that each person is so unique and that their shoe choices express their uniqueness and individuality!!
They represent choices...comfort...appearance...color...style...types of materials...laces...velcro...slip ons...boots...heels or flats...and I could go on and on and on. Instead of using words ...yet...to tell about the shoes, I take pictures. It is so much fun to "chat people up", compliment them on their "cool" shoes and then tell them about my project. We laugh together and then they are pleased to provide me with a photo op!! Some are concerned that they haven't had a pedicure lately and only twice has anyone said no. I could almost tell before I even asked that this would happen. It's just my intuition at work.
Now, I am still finding unique shoes...like the ones I saw just yesterday at the Trenton train station and you see here. I asked if they were "best friends" out on an adventure and they immediately said "YES". I then pointed out how they could be best friends and yet express their uniqueness - boots, awesome colored sneakers and flip flops with red painted nails. It is a great conversation time for me with people (one of my favorite things to do) and people truly LOVE the attention. In my way, I am CATCHING THEM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT - making a shoe choice and expressing themselves through their choices - and I am affirming them for it!! It is such a WIN WIN situation!!