Gil & Curtis Sail the Seas

His hat is soooooooo the opposite of everything that Gil is! We went sailing on the AJ Meerwald out of Bi-Valve, NJ for a six hour cruise on the Delaware Bay the other day. The day was one that we would have to call 'perfect' - clear, sunny, the right temperatures and the excitement of the expectations of what we might see or do while out on the quiet of the Bay. For one thing, we knew we would be seeing lighthouses that could not be seen from land! Great expectations. For me, as The Photo Schmoozer who likes to 'catch people doing something right', there is always yet another expectation though. I wonder who I will meet and what stories they will have to share. Today was no exception!! Well, ok I admit that I can find stories everyday!! As we were waiting to get on the boat, I saw three people sitting on the bench on the dock. Later, I happened to be sitting next to the female of the group - she had forgotten her seasick medicine so we were just being still together. Soon, she was joined by Gil, her fiance, and Curtis, Gil's little brother from the Big Brothers program. It's Gil I want to affirm because he is so opposite of the hat he was wearing - see the saying on the collage?? "The beatings will continue until morale improves". No way was that him!! First, I have to say, I watched him with Curtis and you could see a caring connection between the two. Turns out they have a 5 year history together. When Gil comes aboard the AJ Meerwald as a volunteer, Curtis is right there with him, working by his side hoisting the sails, taking pictures, or snoozing on the deck!
As we talked, I asked Gil what he did. He shared that he is Executive Director of a Community Health Care agency in South Jersey. I was wearing my DARE to AFFIRM shirt, so we talked about what that was and then Gil began to share his philosophies as the leader of his program. The first thing I have to share is THAT HE REALLY LISTENS!! People talk about an 'open door policy', but his truly is. He goes to staff meetings, meets with all of his managers weekly, and nips problems in the bud by encouraing everyone to be involved in solving them together. I asked if he had always been such an affirming individual? He didn't answer right away, but after reflection, we came together a bit later for another conversation. His experiences in Peace Corp and his degree in Cultural Anthropology plus the wisdom he has gained from life, are some of the other puzzle pieces that make Gil open to people, cultures, values and beliefs. He respects them and in turn, engenders so much respect from all of the employees at the 20+ clinics that serve the working poor. He is amazing; his staff recognize him as such, and his fiance', Betty, loves to spend her time validating him as well! I learned almost as much from her as from him!! Yes, we saw the lighthouses and I came home with some photographs of them, but the experience of meeting Gil, Curtis and Betty was a special event of the cruise.

Play With Me Daddy!!

On a beautiful afternoon, we went to sit by the river, enjoy the beautiful day and just BE. One of my favorite things to do at these times is watch the children and their parents, watch how they 'dance', watch their interactions. Today was no different. This pair was a joy and a treat and 'candy' for my eyes. He was responsive, respectful and allowed her to take the lead with his careful guidance. When I went to say "Hi" - often a treat for me, she hid her face and turned away from me. Dad said, "She is not feeling well today." OK, I respected that and walked away, to watch them from afar. They sat on the bench to snuggle, then wandered down to the river for a change of pace. He was right there, yet allowed her to pick up the stones and throw them into the water. (Gosh, no one I see on the beach at the river - a beach with lots of pebbles - does not throw them into the water. Fascinating.) When she was tired and clung to his leg, he picked her up and quietly talked with her. When she wanted down, he did so and was close by when she wanted to cling to his leg. He watched her, asked what she wanted and adapted his behaviors to make her most secure in her world. He was responsive and she was trusting. Beautiful. At the end of our visit, I asked him if he realized what a great dad he was. He looked at me and grinned! He knew. I definitely caught him doing something right!! YEAH!!