LISTEN!! REALLY LISTEN!!!

The assignment for the photography class was a "Creative Self-Portrait"! What to do? How could I express myself in a way that was different yet showed who I was and what was important to me?? I sat with the camera pointed at me and started shooting. One picture was of my ear wearing a "simple" pair of earrings. Hmmmmmmm. Then the thought came to me from somewhere deep within...why not take more pictures with different earrings?!? For the next minutes or hours...I got lost in time, I did just that and this is what resulted. What does it show about me? For one thing, I find unusual earrings FUN to wear. For another thing, I am learning more and more to be a good listener. No, that is not always an easy thing for me or many others in my life. Did you ever notice how so many people say they are "listening" but truly are only hearing your words and waiting for a quick break in the conversation so they can begin talking about their favorite subject...themselves!! How often have Bill and I gone out to a social gathering and come home knowing lots about many people there and realizing they know little if anything about us?!?
So what does it mean to be a good listener? Here are some of the thoughts I would like to share about that. It is not enough to remain silent while others are talking; this is not listening in any true sense.
1. Focus on the other person - not allowing yourself to be distracted by what is going on around you OR listening to your own thoughts or concerns.
2. Show you are listening by appearing interested, leaning slightly forwrd, nodding occasionally and acknowledging at intervals.
3. Find some aspect of what the person is saying to be genuinely interested in.
4. Make and maintain eye contact - yet break it occasionally so that the other person doesn't feel under the microscope.
5. Subtly mirror the other person - smiling, frown, modding and laughing when they do.
Anyone can hear. It takes brains to listen!
Research has shown that ineffective listening habits present the most common barriers to success in relationships.
Let me mention another word that gets in the way of listening and true understanding. I call it the "A" word and it often gets people into trouble.
Have you ever said, "Well I "A"ssumed that...
then a situation occurs and what you assumed is not true...and every0ne can be embarrassed?!?
I have learned to ask questioins for clarification. I know it sometimes annoys people because it seems like I am "nit picking" , but for me, as I remember something that Stephen Covey said - it is about first understanding before I can be understood. "Let me be clear about what you are saying".
Allison and I have designed a variety of workshops for relationship building with DARE to AFFIRM and relationship building through LISTENING is an important topic to us.
We understand that we are in our own "learning laboratory" as we do this work and practice our dance steps. Sometimes it can be challenging and we are always open to growth!!
Join us on our journey.
HAPPY SPRING!!