Discoveries for a New Year!!

I have been struggling a lot this year trying to decide where to focus my energies with the blog/s I write - though inconsistently. How to make a choice and what to do was my dilemma until today. What happened? The other day, I was spending time with my new friend Peggy - personally and professionally. We are working on a project and getting to know one another. WE have discovered that we are in each other's lives for blessings and lessons. For me, I decided a few days earlier to focus on people and their hands - expressions of their individuality. When I saw Peggy take out the lotion to soften her hands, it came clear. Here is my new project and DARE to AFFIRM and PHOTO SCHMOOZER are NOT two separate entities!! See, DARE to AFFIRM is what I totally believe about people and the dance of relationships - valuing and affirming them and "catching them doing something right" and PHOTO SCHMOOZER is the person who makes it happen. What an AHA moment. So this is to say that from now on, my blog will be http://photoschmoozer.blogspot.com and I won't write any more on this one! Phew - what a relief. Come visit.

BREA AFFIRMS...and nourishes the world!!

I write another blog besides this one http://photoschmoozer.blogspot.com/

in addition to a very basic web-site www.daretoaffirm.com

In that I talk about TAKING EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO CONNECT WITH PEOPLE, LEARN THEIR STORIES AND CATCH THEM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT. Every day I make a new friend because I decide to be friendly, make people feel good and talk to them about something I like about them and/or what they do!!
In my town, I am bringing a new energy and it is represented by affirmations and DRUMMING. See Photoschmoozer soon for drumming stories!!

When Brea Marsh first wrote, I could have said, "Gee thanks" BUT something told me that I needed to get much more involved with her and send the pins to her 6th graders. That I did and here is her response!! We will continue to publish letters from Brea and hopefully from her kids too here. Stay tuned!!!

Remember people will NOT remember what you did or what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel!! This is a total win-win situation for all of us!!

Brea writes...

I wanted to thank you for the pins! The kids love them, and I have other kids coming from all over campus saying Mrs. Marsh, what does that pin stand for? My class periods were going crazy because they had to wait to get theirs! :) Well, I am writing an article that will be published for Hoofprints, Manorisd's website newsletter. I wanted to make sure it is okay that I mention your website, and show your pins. Let me know if this is okay. I will also put a link for the blog if that's okay.
How could I say no?!?!? Of course, we will look forward to Brea's article in Hoofprints soon.
Brea Marsh, MS
DMS Language Arts,Team 6-1
brea.davis@manorisd.net
"Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body."~Joseph Addison

Dear Dr. Mollenhauer,

My name is Brea Marsh and I'm a 6th grade teacher in Austin, TX. This summer, my school took part in a training called "Capturing Kids Hearts". As part of the training, we made little bags that we decorated with our names and our co-workers (veteran staff & new) could write affirmations to us and put them into the bags. I was thinking about how great it was to take the bag home at the end of the week and see what my co-workers had to say about me-what they saw in me. SO-I decided that I would do WEEKLY affirmations in my classes this year. Students are encourage to not only affirm each other with their mouths, but also write notes throughout the week to students to affirm each other. The students have "mail boxes" at the back of the classroom, and I put the notes once they are turned into me in their mail boxes, and on Fridays they can take their affirmations home to read and see what their classmates have said about them. We talk as a class about how it is really easy to say negative words, but not always positive ones to each other & that this it one an affirmation is, lifting someone up. The students love it, and so do the parents-and they get to practice their writing (what can I say, I'm an English teacher).Brea Marsh, brea.davis@manorisd.net

Thanks for sharing your story Brea!! As a special thank you, we are sending you an affirmation safety pin for each one of your students. Hopefully you will send us some pictures of your student's bags and maybe a story from them to post on the blog!! We AFFIRM YOU for capturing the idea and running with it!!

Martie

Looking Back...Moving Forward...Lessons Learned

In 1985 I was working for Family Tree, a family child care network that was a division of Archway Programs in Atco. In my Director's role, I recruited and trained those who chose to do child care in their homes. I also met with families who were looking for child care and sent them to the provider's homes. We made matches that worked for everyone. So why am I sharing this history with you now? It is a look into the past that came to light again this week in the present and from which I learned some valuable lessons that affirmed my value and the relationships that are built and can be enduring.
The picture at the top? Only a connection to the story in a vague way - and let's call it Literacy. Of course it is with a young one reading a book!! I got my latest edition of a journal, Young Children, from the National Association for the Education of Young Children. AS I glanced through the table of contents, I recognized a name and when I turned to the article, it was my former colleague who was one of the coauthors! What a sense of pride I felt to see how she had grown and changed and how much she had accomplished in the years since we first met. Her name is Cindy Becker and she teaches (again for an Archway Program - how ironic) and coauthored an article on Dual Language Learning. I wrote to the email address and we connected. Then we were going to listen to a singer songwriter at a coffee house near her and she and the provider I introduced her to, were to meet me there after they went to a movie. We went, they came and we talked. What is the lesson learned from it all? For me, it was twofold:
1. I had known that Cindy and Bette would hit it off and sent her there for child care. Twenty years later, their lives parallel in many ways and they are still best of friends.
2. I learned that I was a direct link to Bette's getting a job as a teacher in the public school system. Did I remember? Not necessarily so, but she did!
I would close this by affirming both Cindy Becker and Bette Newsham for their successes, their relationships and for keeping their light for children and families shining.
I would also close with a message to me - the person who always wonders if she 'does enough'. You never know what impact you have on a person's life, so engage in the dance, value them and always look for their strengths. Lesson learned.

"Touchis" are Friend Makers

I would bet that some of you are "old enough" to remember when Alvin Freed created Warm Fuzzies and Cold Pricklies oh so many years ago?? They were the cutest orange pom poms with eyes that moved about and feelers too - well, I call them feelers and they were meant to make you feel GOOD! The warm fuzzies made Frozs (non sexist frogs) turn back into Prinzs (non sexist prince and princesses) after the 'mean' people made them feel less than ok. Thus his book..."I'm OK. You're OK".
Since he created them, for DARE to AFFIRM, we have "Touchis". They are a play on words - get it? Touch is and 'touchis'. Since we are all about responsive respectful relationships, it is only natural to give these to folks who come to spend time with us to thank them, affirm them, and remind them to catch someone doing something right.
Years ago (more than 10!!) when I started working at a Head Start program, I did a training for the bus drivers and other support staff. Why do I bring this up now??? Well, there was this 20 year old young man in the group - he made deliveries for the agency. At the end of the workshop, he got a light blue 'fuzzie'and for two years, kept it in his pocket and played with it when he felt 'frozzie'. I left but who knows if he still had it longer?
See, you never know what effect your words or actions have on someone, so pay attention, watch how you relate and spread the goodness that makes the world still a special place.
This picture with the two yellow touchis? Still giving them out and spreading the word. After all, isn't this all about DARE to AFFIRM? This time it was at Read Aloud Delaware conference on Saturday. Great day; great attendance and soon, I will introduce you to a special person - our hostess Denise.

The Leader of the Team

It's the most special thing to have utmost confidence in the person who is going to cut up your body and make repairs to it. When I first met Dr. Joe Daniel, he was there to care from the beginning. He is thorough, takes time to explain and look at pictures together and always says "If you were my sister, here is what I would advise!" Yesterday was no different. I was anxious to see how the healing from the surgery was going and we discovered together that it was going well. Personally, I thought it was gross looking and wondered, but since he was pleased, well...that' s what it takes. So without a doubt, if you ever need to have someone care for your foot/ankle (and he specializes in diabetes foot problems) go to UMDNJ and meet Dr. Daniel. I did and don't have a moment of regret - ok, maybe some pain now, but no regret. I value him!! It certainly doesn't hurt that he tells me I am an 'interesting' woman!! Now does that mean ME or the foot?!?

Take My Hand and I Will Guide YOU!!

Today is my Mother's birthday and soon the anniversary of her death. I remember her...but more than that, today I want to honor everyone who is a parent or works with very young children to guide their lives. ALWAYS know that YOU are important in their lives. See, we don't know the impact we have on a young one's life. Something we do or say might affect them and will be remembered...or applied...later. That's not the important thing. What is 'perfect' is that we are there for the children; we are there to laugh and play and hug and DANCE. Yes, dance with them as we develop the relationships. Sometimes we just watch and listen...sometimes we lead, but we are always partners. As we begin the New Year of 2009, let us continue to make the very young our priority. We know so much more about them now - how they learn, what affects and influences them...and how important we are to them. Peace and blessings to all.