Theresa the Collaborator

Meet Theresa Caputo and see her many faces!! Behind them all is a heart of gold, a wisdom and understanding that can only come from years of experiences, and a sharing and giving spirit that is her gentle nature. Yesterday we met for lunch at The Painted Cottage in Collingswood, NJ. The outdoor setting was perfect for a "chat and chew". There was quiet conversation all around, light shining "just right" on the plants and a listening presence - a give and take - and true communication. What I saw as I watched and listened, was an individual who is insightful and thoughtful AND a person with a dancing creative spirit that permeates her way of being. It is almost like you can sit and watch the breezes flowing in her mind as she visualizes what she is listening to. It is a treasure and a pleasure to be with her. Theresa is working with Professional Impact New Jersey. Within this organization, she has many opportunities to be the diplomat and collaborator that defines who she is. She creates programs and then finds the perfect people and places to make them happen. The early childhood field is lucky to have Theresa there as an advocate for change.
Today I choose to present her and affirm and value all that she does for the world!! Thank you Theresa!! You are a joy!!

Always Remember...Affirm and Value YOURSELF! as well as Others!

Often we are so busy spending our time affirming, valuing and empowering people in our workshops that we forget to acknowledge ourselves!! I wanted to stop for a minute and reflect on what Allison and I are doing with DARE to AFFIRM and to acknowledge ourselves and our work. We have FUN!! Participants have FUN! Everyone is engaged and our training is interactive. Someone said the other day that we are like "an old married couple" - whatever that means. We role model how we want others to dance. We are always recognizing and reading each other's cues - getting our steps moving to the same music. Sometimes it works incredibly well. Sometimes it is a challenge. No matter what, we are out there, we are together, and we are empowering people. As we guide others to recognize their strengths and hot spots, so do we continue to grow ourselves.
Yeah for US!! YEAH for all who dance with us...and welcome to all of those yet to come.
We love catching people...and ourselves...doing something right!
My point?? In your days filled with "busyness", "crazies" and those who might be less than kind, always remember to stop and BREATHE.
Another lesson...
Q.T.I.P.: Quit Taking It Personally!

Strengths, Affirmations & Experiences

Everyone has STRENGTHS though we don't always know them or acknowledge them. This week DARE to AFFIRM spent an outstanding, thoughtful and FUN day with the staff from the Early Head Start program at Children's Hospital, Philadelphia. Everything we thought about brought us back to the focus of the Dance of Relationships. In the center of this collage are colorful bags. We call these affirmation bags. Rather than ask a person to introduce herself by name and where she works, we choose to take a different approach. Everyone is asked to choose a bag and draw some pictures that represent things about themselves and their lives. Then on the other side, they are asked to write at least three strengths that they bring to work with them and use in their daily lives. Their introduction shares one thing about themselves and a strength. It is the beginning of the day's journey of self-discovery. There are more discussions about strengths and then an unusual task. There are bags and baskets of beads - wooden, foam, plastic of every color. There are also brightly colored shoe laces. The task: make a Life Necklace with the beads that shares your story about where your strengths come from. This group was thoughtful, open and honest. Strengths came from within, family, church, God, nature, the deaths of loved one or other life experiences. No two stories were the same. Many commented that they learned more about their friends and colleagues than they had every known by "being busy" at work and passing in the hall. It was time to stop, be still, reflect and open up communications.
One lesson learned: what was begun today must be taken back to the program. It is up to no one person to carry this forward, but it is the responsibility of a group of unique individuals to be receptive to each other - strengths, challenges and gifts. We know that everyone has caught each other doing something right, and the affirmations will continue as they are guided to strengthen the program.

Felisburto Lights Up His World!!

When I walked into the Paulsboro Head Start program, I could feel an energy there that was different from what I remembered - and it felt good!! I soon realized what it was, or maybe I need to say WHO it was. There is an individual there who shines a light as he opens up to accept and affirm all of the staff and the children in the program. It is exciting to see how he cares for those with whom he works, and even more exciting to see how they respond to him! I asked him what might make the difference with him and how he is. Here is what he said: "Martie, I believe that there is good in every person. I look for it and I see it!" Oh my goodness. Felisburto catches them all doing something right. We went on an adventure together through the center, visiting the classes where the children and the teachers were engaged. The language they used was expansive and caring. There was spontaneous learning taking place throughout the center. One might say it was summer and everything was more "laid back" and maybe that had something to do with it all, but there was more. Ms. Susie, the family worker in the program almost "forever" shared that when people come in looking for good things to be happening, they can find it.

Thanks to all of the children and staff who welcomed me and made my "short" visit keep going. I kept saying, "I have to leave". Finally, I did but looking forward to the next visit we have scheduled in a few weeks.

Marian Dances her way through life!!

Marian is a wonder and a joy and is dancing her way through life! I met her at the Cumberland County Fair as we were walking to see the animals. First I saw the welcoming greeting of her face and the I noticed the ribbon on her chest. I had to know about it and decided to ask. What does it mean? She has been in 4-H for just about 60 years! Amazing! She had stories to tell and I wished I had my handy little notebook with me for recording them. For now, I have to rely on my memory. As a young girl, she began, as many of us do who were involved with 4-H, with cooking and sewing. She baked the cookies and pies and made the aprons and skirts. She had her gardens with vegetables and flowers and then she discovered DANCE. Dance is how Marian has been moving through life for oh so many years now. She was the leader for many clogging groups because music just brings you alive. Now, she no longer dances, but has passed along the tradition to her children and grandchildren. Her granddaughter is the "leader" of the 4-H clogging group now, but Marian is right there with her since they need an adult leader present. Maybe she can't move the body as she used to, but the mind is active and she shares her skills through her words. She only lives a few miles from the Fairgrounds and can just about zip over in her wheelchair.
I know that had we taken more time, there were so many more stories to share. Thanks Marian for all you have done, and continue to do, to add joy and delight to the lives of so many youngester and oldsters. You are a wonder.

QUIET JOY!!!!!

Today I learned a lesson!! I learned that JOY can be quiet...quiet joy...and tears don't always have to be ones of sadness...they too can be tears of joy.
This morning I went out to sit in the garden and watch the bees on the liatris. Their beautiful spikes - growing like weeds in the garden - are a gift. Then I looked over to the milkweed and saw it in every stage of its growth, except for the seed pod that throws off the beautiful skilky seeds. That too will come a bit later...with patience all things come.
After all of this, and watching some kind of red beetles mating on the milkweed, I walked to the back and looked at the one sunflower standing alone, strong, straight and proud. The light was shining on it just so...and I received this image. I call it Tuesday's Treasure and wish you all a HAPPY JULY. All of you, and my friends on http://www.flickr.com/ (I am daretoaffirm) have been warm and accepting and affirming...yet today I AM SATISFIED with the picture in all of its glory even if no one else comments on it!!
I needed to share these lessons with all of you...and with Bill. He is often happy, but his joy and happiness are expressed and felt in quiet ways. when I need to OH WOW the joy, maybe I am disappointed when it is not there and maybe, just maybe I need to be still and present and respect the QUIET JOY.
This is a major growth event for me - a step ahead in the dance of the relationships and adventures of my life. Thanks for listening. It is my wish that you too discover the QUIET JOY that can give your life balance.

On the Road Again!! Dancing with Susan...

The Dance of Relationships is never ending! We all have ENERGY and we all like to have FUN!! Just thought this was a cute way to remind you all of this. What are you doing to dance your way through life?? Hope it is summer fun...safe travel, lots of enjoying nature, and just spending time hanging out with friends. I am off to Albany, NY to spend a few days with my dear friend/colleague Susan Perkins. We are planning to do lots of fun stuff - walks, concerts, and also talk about the layout for the SHOE book!! What?? You haven't heard about it yet?? It's in the works...all about the journey to self discovery and self acceptance as we dance our way through life and relationship building. The fun part will be that the main character is a PAIR OF SHOES and her journey/adventures to learn about herself through relationship buildling!!
Friend Amanda from New Zealand says it needs to be small enough to fit in the purse so that when you are out and about and need a reminder ...just pull out the book and have a look!! More to come when I get back from this adventure on the journey of life. Tah Tah for now!!

He Got It!! Jammin' Together

Perry and Bill Learning and Sharing!!
On a warm Saturday in late June, Bill and I went to the South Shores Music festival at the Cumberland county, NJ, fairgrounds. Since Bill loves his music and has been learning to play the harmonica, he put some of them in his backpack to take along. Since he's not one to play in front of others, he knew he could find a quiet place off to a side and just play along. Today was different!! The fourth group to come on - Home Made JamZ - was incredible. There was Papa Perry (in the pictures above and playing the harmonica), Ryan (16) on the guitar, Kyle (13) on the bass and Taya (9!!!) on the drums. They are billed as the youngest blues band, have made CDs and are on tour. Talking to their Dad, Perry, and their Mom, Trish, is a blessing. They are home schooling the three and just give them guidance and allow them to BE! It shows - and Trish says they are also "typical" siblings, squabbling as they travel to concert dates.
Back to Bill....he was standing with Perry and a few others when I came over and started talking too. I shared that Bill played the "harp" and before I knew it, Perry had lifted the fence to the performers area and he and Bill spent half an hour talking and playing and sharing. Bill wanted to know how to "bend" the notes, and with practice and Perry's watching and guiding, well, HE GOT IT!! You can see the look on both of their faces. So proud and excited!
Later, sitting at a picnic table, Bill took out his harmonica and played along with the music. Another musician was standing nearby and came over to tell Bill how good his playing sounded! What an amazing day - what a day full of kindness and affirmations. What a reinforcement about the goodness of people!
Reach out...share...talk...listen...and you just don't know what stories and lessons will come your way.

Meet Taya Perry: 9 and an Incredible Drummer!!

Lazy Hazy Days of Summer!! Be JOYFUL!!

What an incredible view! Recently I was in Woodstown,NJ to meet friend for lunch at Beans Coffee Shop - a treat in itself! Since the day was spectacular, I decided to arrive early and just sit outside and see...reflect on life, the gifts we are given, and just the simplicity and beauty of it all. Today was a JOY. Beans had several tables and brightly colored umbrellas out front. I sat and watched the clouds, the people and everything all around me. I didn't want to miss a single gift I was receiving!! Rather than just looking out and about, somehow I had the thought to look UP. WOW. The rainbow of colors and designs from the umbrella - looking at it from underneath rather than straight on from afar was eye popping! It just made me want to get up and dance!! No, I restrained myself. Then I turned and looked at the reflections in the windows...all of the little squares with circles within. The guy without the shirt...just staying cool in the summer heat. Then I looked across the street to the local grocery/newstand and saw the person I decided to call the "unofficial mayor of Woodstown". He had on the coolest blue and white "dancing" shoes and I watched as he greeted everyone who passed by. I found out that he is often there and is known and knows everyone!! What a spirit of life. The final joy of the moment - of course, before JoAnne arrived - was to look on the table and see the reflections in my sunglasses. Too cool!! Since I have been so engaged in photography, I have become much more aware of colors, true, but even more, I am aware of how many reflections there are everywhere. It gives me pause - has slowed me down, and allows me to reflect on life in all of its glory.
Do you take the time to stop, be still and reflect!?! It is a gift we are all given if we just open the box of the "precious present" and accept. Try it...somehow it fits with the slower days of summer.

Eyes: Windows of the Soul

When I first meeet a person, it is his or her eyes that stand out to me. Do you notice these? I can tell so much:

• I can see an essence that describes what is going on inside...
• I can see if this is an open and communicative person who looks you right in the eye...
• I can see if this is a person to be trusted...
• I can see joy or sadness...
• I can see a sense of confidence...or not
• I can sense a willingness ...
• I can meet a new friend...

The assignment in the photography class was a portrait with natural light. Once I saw Beth's eyes - the top left picture in the collage, I had a focus for myself for the evening. Being the individual that I am, I followed my path and looked into the eyes of those in the group.

What do you see? Do you look at people's eyes? Can you learn from what you see? If you never have, try it. It can be pretty amazing.

Right Brained Curiosity to CREATE!!

What do I have here? What do I see? What can I do with this? And what else can I do with it? It is amazing...ALL of the POSSIBILITIES that I see!! We always talk about learning taking place every day in every way. I watched Bob as he was thinking about taking a picture...thinking of all of the possibilities of the camera, the light, the subject and whatever else might come to his "right brained" mind. It was a fascinating study as I could just about see his mind in operation.
Bob and I talk a lot about the TAO of photography...the zen of being...and just BEING in the present moment. Everyone would do well to begin this practice - just sit, look, listen, and well, take pictures without a camera. This way they are imprinted in your heart and will always be present for you.
Recently I discovered a photographer in Los Angeles who takes pictures of the homeless and shares their stories with folks who sign on to www.flickr.com. Why I write about this. To me, Paul shows once again how the Dance of Relationships is everywhere. He has through his unique style, developed a TRUST with people who allow him to photograph them and share their lives. I am not there to see exactly what he does, but my guess is that he offers them RESPECT, attention and affirmation of their worth to him.
It only takes a second to acknowledge another, offer a smile or a kind word...and never know how you might have made them feel.
DARE to AFFIRM and have a wonderful week - for yourself and for those whose lives you touch.

Dancing Their Way Through LIFE...One Step at a Time

What are they doing?? What is the meaning of all of this? What do I see and why do I share this?? SHOES...from the first spark - the orange and pink laces in New Brunswick, Canada 4 years ago, I have been noticing and photographing the shoes that others CHOOSE to wear - and yes, we have choices ...usually. This past weekend, while at the Pitman Craft Show, I took close to 200 more views of people's feet. It is NOT the shoes, but the stories and the conversations that I have that are a big part of my reason for doing this. NO ONE (well, one guy last week in a coffee shop) has refused my request. See, I start out with AFFIRMING them..."You have great shoes. Can I take a picture of them to add to my collection?" I share with them that I am writing a book about shoes...how the shoes are in some ways a metaphor for life (thanks Bob!!) and also how they allow us to express our uniqueness and our diversity!! Same...yet different. It is how we all our...we are human beings and then unique individuals. We vary in physical appearance, behaviors, temperaments and the "baggage" and history that we bring to any relationship. See, it IS all a dance. Sometimes we trip over our own feet trying to dance. Sometimes we flow gracefully around the floor, often with a partner...or not. It is WONDERFUL!!
Now I have taken some of the shoe pictures and made them into cards. When I take a picture, I now have an AFFIRMATION CARD to give to people to say THANKS and to share that I have "caught thems doing something right."
People are responding to our workshop topics and asking us to facilitate sessions for them, the shoe collection is growing, and through Flickr.com and my friends there, I learn to value and appreciate affirmations I receive and those I can share with others.
See, all over the world, IT IS A DANCE!! Put on your shoes and get going. Then write and tell us how catchthemright@aol.com

Painting Our World...One Stroke at a Time!!

Today I met Heather and Patti , "COLOR ME HAPPY" face painters, at the Pitman,NJ craft show. I want to share with you what FUN we had getting to know one another!! It all started out as I was watching Heather paint the design on Patti's face) and Patti asked me to take a few pictures with her camera for them. I said, "Of course, and then can I take some for me too?"Being my usual self, I watched...waited and saw what they were doing before I took any action. Then I saw their total joy at what they were doing - their friendship with each other, and their eager anticipation for what the day would bring - and the gifts they would offer others. Wonderful!! I had taken a few pictures and...along came Joe!! Well, let me tell you, Joe was eager to share that he was a "photographer" and had just spent a LOT of $$ for his new Nikon single lens reflex camera. OK for him...not necessary for me. Personally I take my best pictures with a Fuji FinePix 31fd. It's what is called a "point and shoot" camera and it is always with me since it fits right in my pocket!! Joe took one picture of them and gave them his email/website if they wanted the picture. Then he was off. I spent about 20 minutes with them and took about 20 pictures!! Why do I tell you this story? It is so "out there" in the world. People are interested in who they are, what they have and what they are doing. Nothing else. For me, it is a different approach and for me, as you who read this know, it is about AFFIRMING, NURTURING and "catching them doing something right". I went to the craft show today with an open mind thinking of who I would meet, what I would see, new friends I would gather, and stories I would have to tell. Patti and Heather, well, Joe too, were all part of today. Besides that, I saw incredible shoe pictures and brought home more than 200 more for the collection. Have I shared that we are developing the idea for a book - or maybe more than one about Unity and Diversity using shoe photos?? Well...now I have. We are going to post some of the shoe pictures on the web-site and asking all of you to send us your shoe pictures that tell us about YOU. How do your shoes show that YOU are a UNIQUE INDIVIDUAL??? Let us hear from you...and thanks. catchthemright@aol.com See ya again real soon!!
ps...want them to come to your party or event?? colormehappyface@hotmail.com

Stopping to SEE...Reflect and Relate

The Perfection of Imperfection...

I have been spending a lot of time with photography and reflecting on the connections between it and DARE to AFFIRM. What I realize is that when I am just still and appreciative as I observe nature, I see and feel the energy of what is around me without trying at all to judge or have preconceived notions. When this happens, life flows smoothly and I feel at peace. When I am unsettled, I try to "shoot" the perfect picture and end up with nothing I am satisfied with. The other morning, I visited our garden...just so see and receive. This rose bush showed me its beauty in all of its colors and stages of being. There was perfection in the imperfection. Every part of the plant was unique, just like we all are as individuals. Even the thorns, the tight buds and the bugs, were a part of nature's plan that showed itself to me. It had strengths and challenges.

Later in the morning, I thought about facilitating classes and workshops and even back to the times when I was a classroom teacher. When I was still and settled, meeting the group with love and an open mind to receive from them, the sessions flowed with loving respect. When I was "uptight", the flow was not the same. I discovered TEACHABLE MOMENT S in all of these lessons from nature. For me. it connected me to who I am, what I see and what I do. I am filled with gratitude.

Do you have similar stories to share with me? catchthemright@aol.com I would love to hear from you.

REMEMBERING MOM...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

This wild violet was growing in our yard and part of my early morning discovery the other day. It revealed itself to me in all of its simplicity and also opened up some memories stored in my heart. These flowers always bloom for Mother's Day and every year I would make a bouquet for Mom of these violets. She loved them. She also loved iris as her favorite flower. She couldn't tell me why but just did. Now as I write this message for Mom, I realize that I have shared the violet picture and am looking out at my garden just filled with iris in bloom. Coincidence? What do you think?? I think NOT. It is the synchronicities of life that are always present for us when we are open and still and pay attention to them.

My greatest Mother's Day gift this year is that Jon will be coming "home" from Japan to spend 12 days in NJ. We will reconnect, store up hugs to last until next time, and just generally hang out and BE together. After all, isn't that a big piece of what relationships are all about!!!?!?!?!? I wish all of our readers a wonderful, peaceful Mother's Day and hope that you take the time to NURTURE AND AFFIRM YOURSELF as much as I hope your family will take the time to NURTURE AND AFFIRM YOU.